


Oh, How The Mighty Fall (In Love)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, crackfic, technically its dirkborn isnt it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:26:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dirk has a plan for Lord English. (Seducing him is the plan.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, How The Mighty Fall (In Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPc4m_DGMMM)

He stares at you unblinking, and you can’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him. Not because of the situation, it just literally hurts to look at those eyes. You remember his apparent kink for shyness, so you look down at your feet, and let your arm drop a little, and hunch your shoulders. If only you could blush on cue too.

Finally, he speaks. “Human. What the fuck.” He’s angry, but flustered. You allow yourself a smile. Maybe you can pass it off as loving the sound of his voice or something if he notices.

“Come on, I thought it was obvious,” you respond. Then you pause, catch yourself, and when you continue your voice is softer. “I always thought we had this kind of connection, you know?”

You dare to tilt your chin up, just enough to glimpse at him through your lashes. You see Lord English staring back at you with his mouth gaping open. You really can’t help it. Those eyes could cause seizures. It’s almost impossible to look at them without your eyes watering; though, if you were to tear up a little, that wouldn’t be bad for your act.

To your surprise, his response is favorable. “Well. Yeah. I guess. You were always different,” he says. You recognize a cue to look back up, and now he’s the one looking down and away. You don’t know if he’s blushing, but you could swear that dark jade skin is turning a little more lime.

This is going to be easier than you thought, isn’t it? Holy shit.

“I guess that’s why I kept talking to you even when the others wouldn’t,” you say carefully, watching him as you speak, but still trying to look a little shy in case he decides to peek at you again. “I saw something in you they didn’t. I still can’t put my finger on it, but…” (Okay, that was just an excuse to not come up with something positive about him)

He stops you anyway with a grunt of disgust. “God, it’s just the connection, isn’t it?” He shudders. He still can’t look at you. “That’s so depraved.”

You grin, and try to control it. “Yeah, we’re just the kinkiest pair of bastards.”

Lord English doesn’t even seem to get that you’re mocking him. “Seriously. We’re just a match made in heaven or whatever the fuck.”

Wow. Wow. This is working your plan is actually seriously working on him. Your denizen was right. Mad props to Yaldaboath for planting the idea. You can’t celebrate yet though. You’ve got to keep it up. You lift your arm up fully once more, holding out the rose in your hand to him. “Is that a yes, then?” you ask.

“A yes to what?” At last he turns his head enough to look at you. His eyes are wide, and you force yourself to keep looking at them almost directly.

You lift your shoulders shyly, and then make yourself straighten out and appear confident. “A date, for starters. I could make you dinner, if you like. Then we could watch the stars. I’d give you my hoodie. All that kind of stuff.”

He turns away again, and now you’re at least ninety percent sure he’s alien blushing. He clears his throat. Nothing comes out of his mouth when he opens it. But he does finally take the rose that you’ve been holding out to him all this time. Good thing too, because your arm was getting a bit tired. You drop it and hook your thumb in your pocket.

When he gives a nod, you know you’re golden. “Great. So, when would you like me to pick you up? Tomorrow is date night, but I don’t know if I want to wait that long.”

“Yes. We can do this tonight. I just need to know when.” You can tell by the waver in his voice how excited he is. A little nervous, even. It would make you feel bad for misleading him if he weren’t incredibly evil.

You check the clock in the corner of your shades, and try to figure out how much time you need. “How about five hours?” you ask. You figure, as a Lord of Time, he should be able to keep track of that.

He nods, and that’s that. You have a date. You should go prepare for that, now. But first, you smile at him, and one more idea comes to you. You have to stand on your toes, and you rest a hand on his shoulder for balance, but it’s worth it to feel him tense up in anticipation. You lean in closer until you’re almost touching his face. You lean in until he must be sure you’ll kiss him, but you just whisper, “I’ll see you then.”

You drop back to your heels and let your hand graze his arm as it falls. With a smirk, you turn away and start walking. Just for good measure you swing your hips a little and you only decaptchalogue your rocket board when you’re too far away for him to really check you out.

Now you need to figure out what to cook and how to set up the apartment. You wonder if there’s a way to poison him.


End file.
